Marriage Is the New Wealth, It Can Make Your Life Richer!
MARRIAGE IS THE NEW WEALTH,
IT CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE RICHER!
B. E. Thompson
“… Staying together is progress; working together is success!”
Several years ago, during the height of the “great recession,” many people lost their homes, jobs, had a cut in salary, much of their invested retirement gone overnight while the wealthy got richer. And although the economy has greatly improved, too many of you have not recovered.
The good news: marriage can be the great equalizer for the “99%.” The bad news is that not everyone is prepared for the “committed relationship” opportunity. And as you continuously hear about the failed relationships of celebrities and the wealthy, you can have a relationship that can get better with age and pay huge dividends over a lifetime no matter how much money you have in the bank!
Warning: Read the fine print! You don’t want to start a relationship or use a relationship as a “get rich” quick scheme it will surely fail. If you have been fortunate in having connected with someone worthy of you and you them, then perhaps you have a relationship that can endure and be richly fulfilling, passionate, and bring each of you much joy!
So let’s take a look at your current relationship. Do you value your relationship enough to invest in it? What are you willing to invest – time, emotional currency, attention, change?
Time is of little consequence to a marriage/relationship, but rather the strength of your commitment to a shared life together! You are constantly asking yourself “is it worth it; will it endure?” Is it worth the investment of my mind, body, heart, and soul? Your unconscious mind asks this question of your conscious mind often when the relationship is new making you feel anxious and at times insecure.
Many people treat their relationship/marriage like a hotel, and some a timeshare, but not as a home – your “primary residence!”
With a primary residence, a major financial investment (second only to the cost of raising children), you hire labor or do it yourself, and are constantly doing home improvements and figuring out how to increase its value – equity. Very few couples take this methodological approach to their relationship and then wonder why it doesn't “give” us what we need, want, and desire. We are dismayed why it doesn't last – why it doesn't provide the “returns” we expected, why our relationship falls apart leaving us feeling, angry, hurt, pained, resentful, lost, and for some broken. It doesn't have to be this way!
Although it takes work to earn the currency for a fulfilling relationship, having to earn it doesn't mean that it has less value. To the contrary, it is most valuable, but you can work less and smarter if your mind, heart, and soul is invested!
Intimate, committed relationships require the highest-level communications skill set and “emotional currency” than any other relationship because of the high stakes involved, and the impact on the other in having your relationship work for you, fulfill your needs!
As you become more articulate about what you’re feeling, thinking, and emoting you discover more of what you are capable – more of who you are! You discover resources within yourself you didn’t know you had. You then have the capacity to “embrace and hold up” another while honoring yourself. You are able to live with the ebb and flow of a stable, but fluctuating investment and the necessary losses and risks of a relationship and a shared life.
The richness of you relationship is the passion derived from it!
Each time we choose not to value/honor our relationship in the presence of our beloved or when apart, we diminish the love that is there. We end up with insufficient “love” funds resulting in distress, insecurity, and fear! And at other times, you diminish your relationship when you choose something of “perceived” value at the expense of your relationship. This too will diminish your relationship over time, paradoxically long before you have created a relationship of worth!
I want to make note that I know and have observed many couples “working” on their relationships, but the energy and time expended focused on the things that are least important to the fulfillment and growth of the relationship. Your sexual experiences with your partner are a reflection of how healthy your relationship investment is at any given time!
The beginning years of the relationship is the learning and ripening process requiring a heightened awareness, transparency, and attentiveness to your partner. This is the lived research you and your partner do to learn if you have the makings of a fulfilling relationship and a winning partnership!
Don’t give up on your relationship invest in it!
When you’re with someone at the highest level of vulnerability and intimacy, you are able to meet the demand that couples experience and you can love in more expansive ways than you could have ever expected. Your relationship then becomes the emotional and social investment you imaged in the beginning, providing a life-long investment that keeps on giving.
Have you checked your investment lately? How’s it doing? When was the last time you checked in with your adviser – relationship coach/counselor/ therapist and partner?
To give your relationship its best chance for success and fulfillment please contact me via email at hisbestlifecoach@gmail.com.
Don’t be the person that says, “I didn't appreciate/value what I had before I lost it.” It will cost you in ways you will never get back!
Love big, because it promises the greatest return.