Blog Post
Relationship Stress with a New Baby
4/15/2025
Relationship Stress with a New Baby
Having a baby after 9 months (minimally) of preparation, planning and excited anticipation paired with (natural) worry, can bring many surprises for new parents.
Your relationship is catapulted into a new phase. Everything changes. You were a couple and now you’re a family. Your focus on your partner has shifted to this bundle of joy full of needs and demands.
Your erotic life may feel lost or severely compromised due to hormonal changes, exhaustion from loss of sleep, transfer to the baby. Yes, having a new baby can be an erotic experience. It’s not just for (some) nursing mothers, but for both parents experiencing the softness of baby’s skin, the pleasure of holding.
Sometimes fathers can feel left out or jealous of the nursing relationship between mom and baby. They may feel that their relationship to the mom’s body has been usurped, even while feeling happy and awed by the miracle of birth and breastfeeding. Even if the mother is not breastfeeding, she may be so entranced or preoccupied with the baby that her partner can feel a bit excluded.
The stress of suddenly having full responsibility for this tiny, vulnerable, sacred new being can feel overwhelming at times, especially in these times of environmental and political upheaval. Some new parents experience “advice overload” from well- meaning friends, relatives and social media. Yet others can feel a vague or sometimes deep sense of aloneness. Your connection to your partner has been altered in various ways by the shared joy and the shared stress. All of this can make for some difficult relationship struggles. It can help to have a safe, neutral space to talk about all of this.
Couples therapy offers this opportunity for you.