Life Changing Experience
Article on Abicord's Training and Sailing (and other services) published in Cotswold Essence .... by Sue Smith
OCTOBER 2011 www.cotswoldessence.co.uk
Cruising around the azure waters of the South of France in glorious sunshine on a luxury yacht is pretty well guaranteed to leave anyone chilled out. But unlike most holidays where the effects wear off alarmingly quickly once back in the cut and thrust of daily grind, this particular one seems to have left the most extraordinary legacy. Sue Smith set off in search of a suntan and gained a life changing experience.
This summer I spent six days down on the French Riviera coastline close to ritzy St Tropez. But there was a lot more to this sunshine break than lounging around celebrity spotting while joining up my freckles. I was there to change my life forever, shake off stress and acquire the tools to become more motivated and successful. That was how it was sold to me, a cynical journalist who has spent 30 years on a daily diet of scepticism.
But I have come back a completely different person, unfazed, stress free with a positive outlook and even more amazingly, it seems to be lasting.
The Power to Choose, a life skills course is run by chartered psychologist Graham W Price who promised to teach me some powerful tools to achieve a great life. It was a pretty big promise but the addition of sun and good food and wine meant I had nothing to lose by giving it a whirl.
I met up with a small group of strangers at Nice airport where we were met by Graham and taken on the 90 minute drive to where we would be staying. The “fisherman’s cottage” in swanky Port Grimaud, where until recently Joan Collins owned a house, had four good sized bedrooms, two bathrooms and all the mod cons we would need for our stay. But the real wow factor was the 50 foot Beneteau Oceanis yacht moored right outside the back door.
Graham is a gentle, quietly spoken man who exudes calmness and is the perfect example for practicing what he preaches. Each day began with training after breakfast, which was eaten outside against a backdrop of little motorized dinghies pootling up and down the canal on their daily quest for fresh baguettes and croissants.
We eased ourselves into the morning training session on day one and the first thing we learned from Graham was that if we were going to enjoy a great life we needed to learn to “positively accept” things. This positive acceptance is referred to by Graham as 'pacceptance'. This is a word we hear over and over as the week progresses. ”
"What is, is", says Graham, which incidentally is also the title of his book. What has happened can't be undone so what's the point in wishing otherwise? Equally, if we want things to change in the future there is no point in wishing they would change, we have to act to make things happen. It all sounded so logical when spoken out loud and what followed over the next six days were talks, examples and reinforcements from Graham as to how to put this basic rule of pacceptance into practice “Everyone has the potential to be successful in whatever they do and to lead an extraordinary life,” said Graham.
The two training sessions at the beginning and end of each day were interspersed with trips out on the yacht where we moored, ate lunch on deck and swam in the sea. There were trips to St Tropez market and St Maxime as well as the local market in Port Grimaud. Graham, an experienced skipper, was happy to offer sailing instruction if anyone wanted it and most people were keen to learn.
I had been worried there might be some hard in-your-face preaching on this course but not a bit of it. In fact it was incredibly relaxed and I feel such a lot must have entered my brain by the effect of osmosis. The afternoon training sessions were very often held on the boat as we sat around sunbathing, reluctant to head home as we were having such a nice time and Graham was happy to talk and chat through the session as we bobbed about on the sea, never fazed at changing the schedule.
Throughout the week we learned about resilience and how if we want to be happy we need to dismiss negative thoughts as crazy thoughts. “Wishing things were already different is crazy,” said Graham. “It has already happened, nothing can be different from how it already is.” “Resisting what is” is always the source of unhappiness. People need to “accept what is” and act on the future and what can be done about that.”
It sounds easy and it is once you have experienced this course. It is impossible to condense six days of powerful behaviour change into this article. Much of the time I wasn’t even aware of what I was learning but there was definitely a light bulb moment on the trip where I was overcome by a feeling of wellness and calmness and an overwhelming sense of taking control of my own life. And that feeling has remained long after I have returned. Of course stressful things have still happened since then and I am aware of those feelings but now instead of being consumed by them and driven by them, they pass and I can honestly say I have learned in that short time to accept what I can’t change and I now change the things I can.
Graham uses the same principles for weight loss and to help people give up smoking and he offers guaranteed success or a money refund. Two committed smokers on the trip gave up with his help, both of whom had tried in vain for years to do so without success. Another embarked on the weight loss programme when we returned to the UK and has been steadily losing weight since without the need for any faddy dieting.
Graham uses a combination of CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), AAT (acceptance action therapy), NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and hypnotherapy for both the smoking cessation and weight loss. He follows up with regular coaching and is available on the other end of the telephone to help if people are struggling with either.
Being in a house with like-minded people all looking to improve their lives was fairly infectious and high octane. Although we all had different backgrounds this common bond liberated us from who we were and what we did back home and as the week wore on we were strongly united in this shared goal for self-improvement. Sometimes there were deep discussions with Graham over dinner as the heat of the day subsided into long balmy nights.
It was hard not to reflect on what we had been talking about in the day. There was never any pressure to talk about the training subjects outside the sessions although we were all eager to put our new found knowledge into practice. But mostly over dinner we shared anecdotes and laughed, a lot, often into the early hours.”
Graham said he would change my life forever and he has. Without even realising what was happening I have achieved techniques which have given me resilience, self-control, motivation and the tools to eliminate stress and frustration and I feel like a completely different person. Gone are the outbursts when things have got too much and gone is the simmering resentment about something that has happened which I now accept has gone and can’t be changed.
It sounds too good to be true, I know. I can hardly believe it myself that six days could have such a powerful effect. To anyone who wants to take control of their lives get yourself on one of these courses. You will wonder what took you so long.
Abicord's Training and Sailing is held in Port Grimaud near St Tropez. Further information, including dates and prices, can be found at www.abicord.com/port-grimaud. Graham also holds regular Power to Choose seminars in London.