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Marta Hatter, LCSW | Article

Relationship Counseling

5/2/2012
Relationships are the threads forming the tapestry of our lives and our world. We are created to function in relationship, where healing takes place. Learn some lessons along the way to make your relationships the best they can be.

By working to deepen and strengthen our relationships and marriages, we can co-create a better world for all people. Creating connection increases understanding and a way to experience the richness of each other's world.

Most people train in what they care about: golf, computer, music, tennis, financial management, etc. Relationships deserve and need energy and commitment to build and deepen understanding, attachment, bonding, managing emotions and developing skills. Investing in your "relationship intelligence" can pay enormous dividends for you, and for all the people your life.
Some of the abilities relationship counseling may help you to nurture include

Attaining a better understanding of yourself, your goals and values
Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety
Managing anger, grief, depression, and other emotional pressures
Improving communications and listening skills
Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones
Discovering new ways to solve problems and resolve conflict
Improving your self-identity and boosting self-confidence

There are often critical developmental points during which some relationships profit from therapy; pre-engagement, pre-marital, marital adjustment, becoming parents, blended families, losses, parenting, empty-nest, separation or divorce, etc. Some areas often significant during relationship therapy are attachment and communication style. As we learn about our attachment style and how to better relate with the attachment styles of those who are important to us, relational quality increases. Communication style is an aspect of how individuals are wired. Very often we misinterpret one another by misunderstanding the way we each process. We think conflicts ensue due to disagreements over content and at times this is true, however it is often because we do not understand the process in motion. We react instead of responding, the conflict cycle resumes.
Stop the conflict

Understand the unconscious factors affecting your selection of each other.
Identify any emotional dynamics that are being replayed from childhood.
Learn how to relate to each other, and others in a more nurturing & loving way.