7 Ways Anger Poisons Relationships
Everyone dreams of having perfect relationships, but very few people actually put in the effort or have the necessary skills to build such relationship. We all have flaws that we need to overcome, but if there is one vice that needs our immediate attention, it is anger. Anger comes naturally to people, and it is okay to feel that way if things don’t go our way. However, we must realize that anger is not the problem. It is rather the way we deal with anger and use it to better ourselves and our relationship. To build the anger skills and transform it to be a constructive aspect of our relationship, we need to understand the value of anger and be patient with ourselves and our partner.
One thing that you need to do is sit down and think what you prize the most, your anger or your relationship with your better half? In order to make relationships work, it is important that to find a way to keep a lid on their anger. If you feel that you have anger issues and that is affecting your relationship, you have come to the right place, because the article will help you in identifying some of the ways in which anger can poison relationships and how important it is to deal with them:
ANGER YIELDS NEGATIVE ENERGY
Anger gives way to negative energy that simply creates damaging detrimental atmosphere, reduces collaboration and also complicates situations. Remember that anger stems from negative energy that is destructive in nature and over time it can lead to escalation of problems. If you want to progress in life and work on your relationships, you need to have positive energy around you. You must be thinking who is responsible for the positive energy around you? The answer to that is “you” and only you. Regardless of your partner contribution, you need to make an active effort to be genuinely and happy constructive so that you don’t emit any negative energy. Once you start giving out positive energy, you will see how your relationship improve.
ANGER IS CONTAGIOUS
Anger is extremely contagious, so when you get angry, it doesn’t take time before others get angry in reaction. The result of this is a heated debate and feelings of bitterness that affect one’s relationship. Just to help you understand how anger manifestation can be bad for your relationship, you need to think of it like fire. The more areas a fire burns, the higher the chances it burns anything that comes closer to it. This is exactly how your relationships work too. If a person is angry, it takes no time for their partner to get worked up. So stop adding fuel to the fire and practice staying calm. Your calmness can also be contagious and would influence your partner to be less angry and more cooperative.
ANGER ESCALATES ARGUMENT
There may be a number of different ways to solve an argument; anger is definitely not one of them. Anger usually leads to hate and logic being pushed out of the window. If you truly want to solve an argument, allow yourself to process anger, see what beneath it and then use logic and reasoning to address your needs. Remember that an angry individual has no control over what they say or do which may lead to escalation of an argument.
ANGER PREVENTS SAFETY
If you see a crying baby, what is your first reaction? You want to calm them down instead of shouting at them. Why don’t we calm a baby by shouting at them? Well, because being angry can never calm a person and also because anger is a sign of danger whereas being calm usually personifies safety. There are a number of reasons why people get into a relationship; one of them is because a relationship offers a sense of safety and security. This is one of the reasons why you need to control your anger and inject an environment of well-being.
ANGER DOES NOT SOLVE PROBLEM
Have you ever reached a sound decision by being angry? You will realize that has never been the case because anger does not solve anything. The thing is that anger, instead of solving things, can lead to a number of different issues. To avoid all the issues and solve the problem, it is important to manage your anger constructively. As Lionel Sosa said "Anger does not solve problems - anger only makes things worse. I go by the old saying, 'Don't make important decisions when you're angry."
ANGER HAS NARROW PERSPECTIVE
When you are angry, you are consumed by the thing that made you angry and have a tunnel vision. Generally it is seen that angry people are vengeful, which is why they can’t see the bigger picture. This can be an issue in a relationship because it is based on love, coordination and cooperation, and anger disregards all these things. This is why anger, like any other intense convincing feelings and thoughts, is narrow and limited. It would be helpful to restore its accurate perspective and see its true proportion in relation to the whole (the big picture).
ANGER IS DESTRUCTIVE
The problem with anger is that it does not build, it leads to destruction. Again the fire example fits in perfectly with anger. Fire, if not wisely, is a destructive force. Anger gives rise to lots of confusion, hurt feelings and obviously unhealthy behavior. Some of us live in “battleships” – shooting fire at each other, launching torpedoes. Too many of us wind up in finding ourselves dumping our garbage on each other and creating mess and destruction. So, if you want a meaningful relationship and want to do something constructive in life, you need to be mindful of your anger and should try to control it.
