Despite the tragedies, traumas and disappointments we may experience (whether our own doing or inflicted by another) healing always begins by getting our negative projections out of the way of our positive potential. This concept is not new and has been said many other ways: We're own worse enemy; Stop being a victim and start taking responsibility; Get out of your own way...

All of these things are easier said than done with the added rational viewpoint that comes with hindsight; however, in the moment of emotion and pain how do we accept the past and release it? How do we step out of the shadow of who we were and into the light of who we can become? One step at a time-starting with the recognition that the past does not define our present or our future. Only we can choose the focus of our thoughts and actions moving forward, which is a huge relief and a huge responsibility.

It is possible to grow and change, creating happiness instead of sorrow, in spite of (and sometimes because of) what we experienced in the past. It's up to us to take the first step, face the pain, choose not to let it rule our lives, and start the process of redefining our options as we open to the possibility of joy. Not always easy, but always possible. Take a moment to get out of your own way, look back at yourself and ask what it is that really keeps you stuck and what you can start doing to put one foot in front of the other. Put your shadow where it belongs-alongside you, not inside you.

-Ally Tracy, MA

Motivational Therapy Group
Dr. Susan Murphy, PsyD & Ally Tracy, MA
1200 Aviation Blvd., #102, Redondo Beach, CA 90278