Sherry Murray, LMHC - Counseling Center Of Spokane
Blog
How to Find a Good Counselor
2/10/14
If you have a close friend or relative whom you feel safe enough to ask, see if they have even seen a counselor and ask if they were happy with the results. If they were, ask if they would mind if you see that person also. Sometimes they would rather not have you also go see the same person, and that is okay and normal, so don't take it personally. In lieu of that, ask your doctor, letting them know what is going on and who might be a good fit for you.

If those are not options for you, try a Google search using counseling along with any other terms that address the type of counseling you are looking, i.e., depression counseling, counseling for childhood abuse, PTSD counseling, or counseling for anxiety. This will usually bring an abundance of choices and it may take a few minutes, but read what each person has written on their site or profiles. This can often give you a feel for what they are like, and if you find one whose writing appeals to you, give them a call.

Don't find the right counselor the first time? Keep trying. If you don't get a good match does not mean to give up on the counseling, it just helps you be more informed about what you are looking for in your search.
Improve Marriage Satisfaction in 21 Minutes
1/30/14
A recent study of married couples showed that three, seven-minute writing exercises per year prevented a decline over time in marital satisfaction, passion and sexual desire.

Eli Finkel, lead author of the study and professor of psychology at Northwestern University, states "Having a high quality marriage is one of the strongest predictors of happiness and health."

The study, entitled "A Brief Intervention to Promote Conflict Reappraisal Preserves Marital Quality Over Time" asked participants to take the stand of a neutral party who wanted the best for both parties while writing about the couple's most recent disagreement.

Results held true for newly weds to those married for decades.

For more information see : http://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2013/02/21-minutes-to-marital-satisfaction.html
"You're Too Sensitive"
11/19/13
Do you hear this a lot? I find the usage of this phrase disturbing for several reasons. First of all, and fairly benign, is the fact that whoever says it to you is is defining you, which is not usually okay. If you think you are too sensitive, that is your prerogative. But no one has the right to decide that for you.

Second, it is critical, and implies you are defective on some level. So it can be a verbal attack.

Third, and much more hurtful, is when this phrase is used following another hurtful comment, i.e., someone says something hurtful, perhaps even verbally abusive to you, and you respond, simply letting the other know they have hurt you. Your response is quite appropriate, after all, you should have a response when attacked, and certainly have the right to ask it to stop. But following your response the attacker then says “you’re too sensitive.” Well, you have just asked not to be verbally attacked, and now this statement is just one more attack. Don’t get sucked up into wondering if your level of sensitivity is the issue. Stay focused on the fact that this person just verbally attacked you again.