Linda Price, Ph.D., LMFT View Entire Blog

I'm Sick and I Want My Partner to Take Care of Me

I'm sitting here today trying to overcome a bad case of food poisoning. I look freighting, I have no energy and I cannot even begin to pretend interest in anything my partner might have to say. I am truly on mending mode and that's it. It began Friday night which was terrible, Saturday I did not crawl out of bed until 2 in the afternoon, and by nightfall, I only began to feel a little better. Today, I’m feeling much better and I'm almost myself. Hopefully, by tomorrow, I will be back to "normal".

I'm fortunate that I have a wonderful and loving partner. He is kind and considerate and wants to take care of me, especially when I'm feeling poorly. But in my life, I've been with partners who were not so sensitive to my needs, and felt I did not have the privilege of feeling "bad" or "sick" or "tired" or "exhausted". Lying in bed for hours and having someone concerned enough to just check in on you does make you feel better. At least I think so.

We need to know our partner is willing to sacrifice part of a day or two or three or whatever it takes in order to help us get better. We need to be reassured that we are not a burden, that we are precious to our partner, and that when we need nurturing and comforting the most, we will get it.

Sometimes relationships are so very toxic, that even the most human of kindnesses cannot be made. Angry, bitter and "entitled" individuals feel victimized themselves being around a partner who now must be "taken care of". There was even an article recently about when cancer strikes a relationship, many times the "well" person cannot handle the added responsibility and decides to leave. I cannot even imagine the incredible heartbreak that must be felt by the person struggling to just feel a little better, or having to endure cancer treatments so severe that the treatment itself might kill the person. I shake my head and wonder how people can be so cruel.

If you are in need of comfort, I truly hope you have the perfect person in your life who will provide that for you. If that is not what is happening for you today, then I send you my own comforting words that you are cared about. I may not know you personally, but I know what you are going through. You will get better and feel stronger, and when you are better and stronger, just maybe it is time to reevaluate your relationship.

Take Care and May God Bless You All
Linda M. Price, Ph.D., LMFT