Contact Jeffrey Chernin, Ph.D., MFT
Whether you're experiencing depression, anxiety, or stress, or if you have problems at work or at home, my sole aim is to help you make the changes you desire. Likewise, if you're in a relationship and you're not getting along, suffering from a betrayal, or simply having trouble finding a partner, I can help you to understand what's going on and overcome your relationship challenges. I take a two-prong approach. 1) To help you find out "how did I get here?" so you don't have to re-visit this place again. 2) To help you learn new ways of relating, coping, and expressing yourself that foster good relationships, friendships, and work connections. If people have been telling you that you need to get over it or to move on, or if you think so yourself, all that does is add pressure to an already difficult experience. I take an "addition" approach - learning new tools and thinking about things in new ways - rather than a "getting rid of" approach (which doesn't work anyway!) Thoughts like - What's wrong with me? Why can't I be like other people - doesn't mean that something is ACTUALLY wrong with you! It could be that you're doing your best to cope with certain challenges, some of which may have arisen in your past. For example, if you were betrayed in a prior relationship and you don't trust your current partner, you're using a former coping strategy in a new situation. I would help you find new ways to deal with the lack of trust and other feelings that could be causing you to act in ways that may have hurt your partner and the relationship. As another example, let's say that there was a lot of fighting in your family and you closed yourself off in your room. Now, any time there's the potential for conflict you withdraw. You're protecting yourself from either being hurt or hurting the other person. But this relationship might be different from your past ones (including your family), and withdrawing could actually be harmful. With either example, one goal for therapy would be find new ways to cope with these feelings, as well as to understand that nothing is "wrong" with you. It's just that your actions may be counter-productive. The other goal is Empowerment; sometimes you may choose to withdraw or be untrusting - but the key is to choose and not automatically react that way. Another way I see therapy is putting puzzle pieces together. You may have all of the pieces, but we need to put them together to figure out what motivates you and why you feel the way you do - as well as making the changes you desire.
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