You Can Have a "Drama Free" Relationship | Bryce Thompson, M. A., LMFT, Therapist in Los Angeles, CA 90746

You Can Have a “Drama Free” Relationship
By B. E. Thompson
There is this ideal in our culture and many others around the world that we FIND love. But this myth is how relationships start off in disillusionment. Love isn’t lost so it can’t be found. Most people aren’t lost so they can’t be found. And if you do “find” someone, your relationship will end up being what you didn’t have in mind! We meet people, a few of whom we experience an attraction and sometimes it is reciprocal. It is the willingness to stay in the “ring” and do the necessary “training” to strengthen and grow a relationship so you both “feel” like “winners.”
“Fairytales have their purpose, but they don’t reflect
the ‘collective reality’ of OUR lives.”

It’s necessary that you become conscious of the way you interact so you can start relating more powerfully and deeply for more satisfying love and sex with your partner. When you are conscious you are able to recognize when conflict has turned into “fighting”. If we fight, then we defend! This makes it difficult to open ourselves up – be vulnerable (“trust”). Without vulnerability, intimacy can’t take root in the relationship preventing a deeper connection.

We should NEVER fight in a relationship – this is emotional abuse that has lead people to be physically abusive. Boxing gloves are best left at the ring! Take off the gloves and hold out your hand. Conflict (“drama”) is a natural dynamic of a relationship, especially intimate/life-partnerships. Conflict is a natural, “organic” dimension of all relationships because each person has an ego, is unique, and sees through a different lens. But the gift of conflict is its ability to heal, transform, alter or strengthen our character, and ultimately cultivate the better self and create a relationship that serves us and the world around us. It is how you resolve it that allows the relationship to thrive or die. One way to reduce “drama” is the establishment of boundaries that supports the infrastructure (“feeling physically and emotionally safe”) of the relationship. If you don’t respect your own boundaries, don’t expect others to!

The skills needed to be able to resolve intimate conflict is the ability to be and stay focused while using active listening, emotional listening, and spiritual listening to learn what your partner needs you to hear and understand. This nurtures the CORE of our being.
“Learn to recognize abuse when you see it. One of the best ways I know
is to love and respect yourself.”
- Unknown
Bryce is a psychotherapist and family and gay relationship wellness coach in private practice in the San Diego area. You can connect with him at hisbestlifecoach@gmail or visit http://TherapyNext.com/Profile/BryceThompson