The Examined Life By Stephen Grosz - a Review
Some thoughts about the book The Examined Life by Stephen Grosz
This book had a lot of media coverage when it came out. It consists of a series of client stories heard in the consulting room. It’s always interesting to see how the psychotherapy profession is portrayed in books (and in the media in general.)
The writing style is simple and clear. The book has chapter headings recapitulating in a few words the basic meanings of some of Grosz’s life experiences, for example ‘The bigger the front’ (read the book to see what I mean!) or ‘How lovesickness keeps us from love.’ However, each chapter reads more as a detective story with a denouement, rather than as a life experience. It is as if each story has to have an ending (and very often a happy ending!) And sometimes it’s hard to know what to make of them. For example, Grosz meets by accident a client several years after the end of their therapy and the client introduces him to his wife. Does Grosz intend to underline that the couple was still together and that this is a positive outcome? If the marriage had not lasted, would this have been a less desirable turn of events?
In Grosz’s recounting, the content and the narrative seem to dominate – it would have been good to hear more about the therapeutic process. However, the author does make clear that when therapy reaches a kind of impasse, exploration of the past seems to be the obvious way to move the therapy forward.
Grosz himself remains enigmatic, and the patient just seems to be an object for analysis. What about the therapeutic relationship? Grosz does talk about himself, but not in the context of interacting with clients. The end of the book is dedicated to his ageing father, and this part is very moving. At one point, Grosz says he had been wrong about an interpretation. By approaching psychotherapy and psychoanalysis this way, he implies that he might have been right. As a therapist, is it important to ‘issue’ a right or wrong interpretation? Isn’t this more in the experience of the client?
Grosz mentions where he practises (Hampstead) and the long journey he once made across London to see a supervisor (one of the best, of course!) Is it necessary for him to say that he takes his job so seriously that he is prepared to make long journeys for it? Is this not what we all do (metaphorically and literally)?
As for boundaries relating to disclosed material, there is no mention of disguising clients’ details. And is it appropriate to use material about a woman he met on a plane?
One of the strengths of the book is that there is no jargon, except for two key concepts (transference and split) which are clearly explained. This is a very good approach for the lay public. Having said that, Irvin Yalom, Susie Orbach and even Oliver Sacks have given powerful and convincing accounts of what happens in the consulting room. There is also the intensity of the fictitious therapist Paul Weston in the TV series ‘In Treatment’. It’s true that Weston behaves in unorthodox ways: he is often unboundaried and he makes mistakes, but at least he is fully alive and engaging. (Perhaps it’s unfair to compare a factual book with a television drama.)
Stephen Grosz leaves the impression of an academic-type storyteller. Something is missing: the full impact of the therapeutic encounter in the consulting room.
Despite these reservations about Grosz’s way of working, the book does have its place on Joe Public’s shelf.
Dominique Gaveaux
